Last Wishes
by scubysnak
Summary: Catherine's last wish is to have Sara raise her child after she dies. Ch 8 is up. CathSara
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own 'em...though I wish I did! And if I did...the fun I could have!!!

"She wants me to what?" Sara asked stunned.

The lawyer attempted to once more explain Catherine's wishes to Sara, Nancy and Catherine's mom. "She left clear instructions that you were to become Lindsey's guardian in the event that she was unable to care for her. Ms. Willows left a sizable estate behind from which she expected you to care for the minor child. She inherited quite a large sum of money as well as financial interests in several casinos when her father, Sam Braun, died late last year."

"I still don't understand why she thinks…thought I would be a suitable parent for Lindsey," Sara further challenged the lawyer.

"She actually left a video explaining her wishes. If you like, we can view it now," the lawyer offered.

Before Sara could answer, Nancy spoke up, "Mr. Temas, I'm certain my sister would have wanted only Sara to view the video. Mom and I will step outside." With that, Nancy helped her elderly mother from her chair and they exited the office.

Sara shifted forward in her seat and continued to argue with the lawyer, "She's made a mistake. I'm not a mother. I don't even like kids. What am I supposed to do with a teenage girl? Catherine was her mother and was having a helluva time dealing with her. Why not Nancy? Her mom? Someone else? Anyone else? I can't do this!" Sara put her head in her hands and began to cry softly as a familiar voice broke her reverie. She looked at the screen in front of her and was met with Catherine's familiar smirk.

_Hey Sidle…Sara. I guess if you're watching this, well, I must be gone. I'm sure you've already been told by the lawyer that my wish is that you raise Lindsey for me. I'm sure you've already tried arguing with the lawyer and have come up with a dozen reasons why you shouldn't raise Lindsey. I asked to make this video for you so that I could explain **why** I picked you over every other person in my life. _

_First of all, I want you to know that I've always loved you. I've always admired your passion, persistence and soul. We tried once and failed. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to you about the situation after that morning when you left. _

_I'm sorry for all the times I was so bitchy to you—it was my coping mechanism. And when Eddie died, I couldn't believe how hard you worked to find his killer—even after I was so cruel to you. And despite that, you began to go out of your way to spend time with my little girl. I know, right? Who would have believed that Sara Sidle was being hero-worshipped by a kid? I loved watching how you interacted with her. You didn't talk down to her and always gave her opportunities to feel like she was older than she was. You helped her deal with her father's death in ways I could never have begun to understand. _

wiping tears away _Ah, this is way harder than I thought it would be. When I found out I was sick, my one constant thought was what would become of my baby. She'd suddenly lost her father and now she was going to watch her mother die a slow death._

_I'm sure you've even asked why I didn't consider having Nancy or my Mom take Lindsey. That's easy! After seeing how you took to Linds so quickly and how much she looks up to you, I knew in my heart that you were the **only** person who could raise my baby girl. _

_I'm sorry I didn't discuss this with you before now. I just figured with our penchant for arguing, it would be better to spring this on you when you couldn't argue with me. I guess I finally get the last word with you!_

_In all seriousness, my little girl deserves the best. She needs someone who will let her grow, but will keep her safe. She deserves someone who will challenge her, but recognize her limits. She needs someone old enough to know stuff, but young enough to still enjoy life. I think in the end, you'll discover that you need her as much as she needs you._

_Sar—of all the people in my life, I trust you to finish the job I started. It's not going to be easy, but you've never shied away from a challenge. I think you'll find that I've provided well for you and Lindsey. Well, I'm starting to feel like I'm rambling. I'll leave you with one thought. I love you, Sar._

And with that parting comment, the image of a beautiful, healthy, and radiant Catherine was replaced with static. The lawyer stepping in front of his desk and said, "Ms. Sidle, I know this is a lot to take in, but I can assure you that Ms. Willows was at peace because of her decision to have you care for her child."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** See chapter 1

Her decision made, Sara looked up and said, "What do I need to do to make all of this official?"

The lawyer smiled and reached down to pat her hand. "You will not regret this decision. There's the matter of her home. I assume you'll move in there to care for the minor child? _Sara nodded her consent. _A sizable trust was established for the child. We can discuss those terms later. Then there is the sum Ms. Willows left for you. We'll start with the paperwork for you to assume guardianship of the child…"

"The child has a name!" Sara said firmly.

"Of course, I'm sorry. Her name is Lindsey. I'll have someone in the office take care of transferring the deed into your name. You'll also need to take care of the utilities, insurance, etc. The vehicles transfer to you as well. Any questions? Okay? Let's go ahead and get you to sign the guardianship paperwork," the lawyer said as he slid the papers across the desk.

As Sara signed her name, she didn't quite realize the awesome responsibility she was taking on. After a few more formalities, Sara made an appointment to return the next day to finish the rest of the paperwork.

She exited the lawyer's office and nodded to the two expectant women seated outside the office. They both smiled and wrapper her in a warm hug. "Cath would be so proud of you. She knew you'd be the best person to raise her daughter," Nancy offered.

Catherine's mom interjected, "We know you've never raised a child, so we'll do whatever we can to help." Sara couldn't help but wonder if that was meant to sound as harsh as it came out.

"I think this is just going to take some getting used to. I'll have to take some more time off of work to get settled in and make sure Lindsey is adjusting okay. I'm scared to death that I'm gonna screw this up," Sara confided in the two women.

"Where's Lindsey now?" Nancy asked.

"Greg has her. He was taking her to the zoo today. Look, I'm going to head on over to Cat's house and try to sort through some things," Sara said to Catherine's family.

"Do you need any help, dear?" the elderly woman offered.

"No, I think I need to do this on my own." With that, Sara said her goodbyes and promised to call each of them later in the evening.

**An hour later…**

As Sara pulled into the driveway of the now empty and dark house, she immediately began to sob as the memories of Catherine—of her and Catherine—flooded her mind. Their first case together. Their first big fight in the lab. The guilt Catherine made her feel over not finding Eddie's killer. The time they went for drinks after she found out about Hank. How Catherine had trusted her above all others when she thought she had been raped. Her being shocked into silence when Catherine confronted her about her drinking problem. How bitter Cath had seemed when she dated Grissom and how elated she had been when it ended. How their friendship had really began to blossom in the months following Catherine's diagnosis. How as they grew closer once again, their time together grew shorter. Her deciding to take a leave of absence to be with her friend and care for her. Her holding Catherine's hand and Lindsey in her lap as she drew her last breaths.

Sara gathered what strength she had remaining and made her way into the house. She had pretty much lived here the last two months. Deciding to get comfortable and go through some of Catherine's things, she changed clothes and went to Catherine's room filled with trepidation and fear. Only a week ago, Catherine, a mere shadow of her former self, lay in that bed. Pushing those thoughts aside, Sara crossed the room to the table where lay what remained of Cath's numerous medications. One by one, she reviewed the labels and walked to the bathroom to flush them away. She couldn't risk having some of these around with Lindsey in the house. It was at that moment—with that thought—that the full weight of her new responsibility hit her. She was going to have to consider Lindsey in every decision she made from now on. How had Catherine managed to do this for so long? _God, I hope she was right about me_, Sara thought to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** See chapter 1

Sara finished going through the room and removing all evidence of Catherine's lost battle. She did the same throughout the house. She entered Lindsey's room, made her bed, gathered all of her dirty clothes and started a load of laundry before heading to the kitchen to check the cupboards. The only thing she'd ever been good at in the kitchen was---another memory came flooding back to her…

_Catherine always hosted a New Year's party for the night shift. It was always on New Year's even and during the middle of the day but it didn't matter. It was an excuse for everyone to get together, maybe have a few drinks, and relax. Sara went every year and always felt extremely out of place. Social events, even among her friends, were uncomfortable for her. This one particular New Year's, Sara had actually managed to pull a night off. She decided that it was okay to have a few (or more) drinks and really, for once, try to loose up and enjoy herself. A few hours and a few too many beers into the party, Sara went into the kitchen to grab another beer from the fridge. She had the door open and was bent over looking for her brand when she felt her. Catherine pressed her body against hers and leaned in to grab more Heinekens for the guys. Catherine hadn't been able to help herself when she brushed her lips against Sara's ear and whispered, "Has anyone ever told you what a nice ass you have?" Sara spent the rest of the evening incredibly self-conscious, majorly turned-on, and curious as to why Catherine had said that._

Snapping back to the present, Sara took a pad out of the junk drawer and began to make a list of the food they'd need. A strict vegetarian, she was unsure how she was going to handle all of this with a teenager. From a strictly scientific point of view, all of the vitamins and nutrients that Lindsey would need were found in vegetables. She didn't actually **need** meat. But how comfortable would you be preparing meals for Lindsey if meat was included? She blocked the idea immediately and decided that they could eat out a few nights each week so that Lindsey could have meat if she wanted it.

She set the list aside so that she could get Lindsey's input before she went shopping. She didn't want to remove the memory of Catherine from this home, but she wanted to remove the reminders of her death so that they weren't eh first things Lindsey saw when she came home. She opened the door leading to the front porch and removed the wreath from the door. As she turned to walk back inside, another memory brimmed to the surface…

_Standing at the front door with flowers in her hands, she could hear Cath telling Lindsey to get the door. Instead of being met by the elder Willows, Sara soon found herself face to face with mini-Catherine._

"_Sara! Mom's still getting dressed. She can't decide what to wear. I think she's going to be dressed too nice," Lindsey said as she grabbed Sara's hand and dragged her toward the couch. "Are those for Mom?"_

"_Yeah, they are. You think she'll like them? Sara asked hoping that her nervousness didn't show too much._

"_Mom loves flowers. No one ever gives them to her anymore. Sara, are you & my mom dating? Are you her girlfriend?"_

"_You don't have to answer that," Catherine directed at Sara. "And as for you, young lady, that is none of your business! How many times do we…"_

"_Actually, Linds, tonight was supposed to be the first date your mom and I officially went on. And you have to go out a few times before you can be called a girlfriend." Catherine's chastising of Lindsey was cut short by Sara cutting her off._

"_Oh," Lindsey said. "Cool, I guess." Catherine stood there with her mouth hanging open. She had not intended to have this conversation with Lindsey just yet—if at all. She had wanted to make sure things would work before broaching this Lindsey._

"_I have an idea. Lindsey, how about you come with us tonight?" Sara asked as her eyes met with Catherine's. Catherine gave her a questioning look before telling Lindsey to go and get ready._

"_Are you sure you want her to come with us? My feelings won't be hurt if you would rather drop her off at Nancy's," Catherine offered._

_Sara walked over to her, placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and said, "First of all, these flowers are for you. And secondly, spending time with Lindsey is just as important as spending time with you. If this is going to work—and right now I hope it will—she has to know she is just as important to me as you are. You two are a package deal. I understand that and wouldn't have it any other way."_

"_Oh! My! God! Are you for real? I don't think **anyone** has ever said anything quite so sweet," Catherine said before claiming Sara's lips in a passionate kiss. As she broke the kiss, she added, "I'll admit to being a little disappointed. I had hoped to have you in my bed tonight."_

"_My, my, my! Ms. Willows—a little presumptuous, aren't you? This is, after all, the first date. What makes you think I'd sleep with you on the first date?"_

"_Well, we've been doing dinner, a movie and making out on the couch since New Years. I had hoped for a little more at some point," Catherine said as she did little to hide her disappointment. _

_Sara drew Cath to her in a tight embrace, "Oh, babe. There's nothing wrong with us going slow. With my past and your little girl, we don't need to rush things and ruin this. Believe me, I want nothing more than to make love to you all night long," Sara said. "Tonight, however, I'd be content to sleep with you. Would you mind if I slept with you and help you all night?"_

"_That sounds perfect," Catherine replied._

"_Okay!!! I'm ready!!! Where we goin'?" the younger Willows asked as both she and Catherine looked at Sara expectantly._

"_I was thinking dinner and a movie. Lindsey, you can even pick the movie."_

"_Awesome!" was all the kid could exclaim as she ran out the front door followed by her mom and Sara._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** see Chapter 1

A ringing phone brought Sara back to the present.

"Sidle," Sara said as she answered her phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey sweetie. I wanted to check on you. How did it go at the lawyer's office today?"

"I'm supposed to raise Lindsey!" was what Sara blurted out without thinking.

"You're joking, right? There's no way you can do that. You told them that, right? Sara?"

"Sof, I…"

"You agreed to it, didn't you?" Sofia said as she cut her off.

"What was I supposed to do? I'd like to see how you'd react to someone's dying wish! This isn't exactly what I had on my top ten list of things to do in my life."

"I have to go. We'll talk when you come over tonight," Sofia said.

"I won't be coming over tonight. I told you, I'm supposed to take care of Lindsey now," Sara said without emotion. She heard nothing but silence on the other end. "Sofia, are you still there?"

"Yes, I am. How is this going to affect us?" Sofia asked with a little more hostility in her voice than she had intended.

"Damn it, Sofia. I just lost my best friend and agreed to raise her kid. Maybe the right response would be, 'Is there anything you need?' instead of worrying about how this is going to affect your sex life!" Sara wasn't completely surprised to hear the line go dead.

Sofia was her first real relationship since things had ended with Catherine. She had dated a few people—mostly men (including Grissom) but hadn't seriously been involved with anyone. She and Sofia had only been dating a few months when Catherine told her she was sick. By the time their six month anniversary rolled around, Sara had moved into Catherine's and had taken a leave of absence to help care for her. All the while, she continued to have some semblance of a relationship with Sofia. She had been so pleased with how well Sofia had taken everything. She couldn't say that she would have been so understanding had the show been on the other foot.

Sara decided that a bath—yes, in the middle of the day—would make her feel better. She went to Catherine's bathroom and filled the tub with water as hot as she could stand it. She stripped naked and slipped into the water and away from everything weighing heavy on her mind. She closed her eyes and recalled the night when she and Catherine first made love. It had started in this tub...

_They had been dating for three months and finally had a weekend off together. Not only did they have the weekend off together, but Nancy had taken Lindsey for the weekend. After their shift had ended early Saturday morning, the couple went for breakfast before returning to Catherine's house. "I feel like a hot bath. Care to join me?" Cath had asked Sara as they climbed the stairs to the bedroom hand in hand._

"_That sounds wonderful," Sara replied with the gap-toothed grin that Catherine was so fond of._

_Catherine filled the tub and the two climbed in. Catherine sat between Sara's legs with her back against her chest. Both women were extremely comfortable with one another and also very aware that they would shortly be making love for the first time. With a bath sponge in her hand, Sara began to gently wash Catherine from her shoulders to her stomach. Somewhere in that time, Cath had leaned her head back and she and Sara had started kissing. No longer really interested in bathing her, Sara let the sponge fall from her hand as both hands moved up from Catherine's stomach to her breasts. This was all familiar territory for Sara. She let her fingertips brush over Catherine's nipples, making her moan into her mouth, causing Sara to begin to roll her nipples between her fingertips. Catherine was now pressing her body harder against Sara and had snaked her arms up to wrap backwards around Sara's neck. No words were spoken as their kiss broke and Catherine met Sara's lusty gaze with darkened eyes. Looking intently in Catherine's eyes, she moved her right hand down Catherine's stomach and into the valley between her legs. She proved to a deft lover as she brought Catherine to the first of many orgasms she would have that weekend._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: See chapter 1

The memory along with the bathwater went down the drain as Sara got out and toweled off. Another recollection flooded her senses as she exited the bathroom with the towel wrapped around her—a memory of the last intimate moment she shared with Catherine in the very bed she now stood at the foot of.

"_Mom! Sara!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the young girl screamed as she opened the door and saw her mom and Sara doing something that she was certain she'd get in trouble for doing._

"_Lindsey, shut the door! Sara, get off of me! Get up! Get up! Get up! I have to check on her! Damn it, Sara, MOVE!" Catherine was yelling and dressing at the same time. "She's not supposed to be home until tomorrow! What the hell is she doing here? Damn it, why am I mad that my daughter is home?"_

"_I'm sorry, Cath. I'm moving as fast as I can," Sara said._

"_Damn it. I never should have done any of this," Catherine said as she flung the door open and took off down the hall after Lindsey._

_Her words settled on Sara's heart like molten steel. That had been both the first and last weekend with Catherine. She quickly dressed, gathered everything of hers and left while Catherine was talking to Lindsey. She faintly heard Catherine calling her name as she set the key that she had given her to the house on the table by the door and shut it behind her. It had been the three best months of her life—literally—but Catherine's hasty and hurtful testament that this had been a mistake immediately ended their relationship. The wall that Catherine had fought so diligently to tear down was reconstructed in nanoseconds and Catherine was afforded no opportunity to explain her outburst to Sara._

That had been years ago--before Eddie's death, before her shooting, before the thing with Grissom, before Catherine's death sentence—basically another lifetime.

For months after that day, Sara did everything within her power to avoid Catherine. She was tremendously relieved when Catherine moved to supervise the swing shift. It wasn't until she rejoined their team on nightshift that they tried to recapture some semblance of a friendship.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one

She heard the front door open and Greg call out, "Sara? Hey Sara! We're back!"

She quickly dressed and made her way downstairs. Greg was in the kitchen making a pot of coffee and Lindsey was sitting on the couch with her head hanging.

"Hey, Greggo. How did the day go?" Sara asked the spiky-haired young man. He had matured so much since he became a CSI. She was extremely grateful that she had friends like Greg who would be willing to help with Lindsey.

"Ah, it was okay. I didn't know someone could be so depressed at a zoo. We'd have been back sooner, but she wanted to stop by the cemetery."

"Greg, you didn't, did you?" She asked as her shoulders began to sag. Sara was struck with the realization that she would have to deal not only with her only grief over the lost of Catherine, but with Lindsey's grief as well.

"Is that a problem? I didn't see anything wrong with it. She wanted to go and 'visit' her father." He leaned in and whispered to her, "She didn't want to go to Catherine's grave. It's only been a few days since the burial. I don't think she's ready to go there, yet."

Sara looked across the room to the teenager slumped on the couch. She remembered seeing that same look on the girl's face when they were questioning her about her father's accident—before they knew he was dead. Working Eddie's case had been so trying. She had no weapon and two liars. Interviewing the pink-haired girl who had been driving had been interesting. She had never seen Catherine act so unprofessional.

"_You even think about my daughter again, I'll kill you. I will kill you. I will hunt you down and put…I will put you in the ground." Catherine screamed at the woman in interrogation as she lunged at her. _

_I tried calling her name several times before I had to physically remove her from the room._

_Once we were in the hallway, I was going to be the one to face her anger. _

"_What the hell are you doing? Do you know where you are right now?" I asked her._

"_I've been here a lot longer than you…"_

"_And you should know better."_

"_And I wouldn't have to be here right now if you were doing your job properly." She knew how serious I was about my job. Questioning my ability to do my job was the deepest cut she could make._

"_There is a difference between my doing my job and you wanting to do it for me. You don't want to get the job done. What you want, right now, is revenge."_

"_You're going to tell me what I want, huh?" Catherine said to me._

"_Go home, Catherine. Be with your daughter. **She's the one that needs you**."_

_I walked away leaving her with that thought. I didn't need her anymore. I didn't need her. I didn't need her questioning me and my abilities. I didn't need her. _

I may not have needed her, but she needed me. And I failed her. I couldn't find Eddie's killer.

"_So you're calling it?" _

_I explained to her that I couldn't help it—not with two liars and no murder weapon. She understood, but it was still personal for her._

"_What a great bedtime story for my little girl."_

"_Cath, I did my best."_

"Greg, how about you go pick us up a pizza or Chinese or something? I'm starving and I know that Lindsey probably doesn't want any of my vegetarian specialties right now." She took out her wallet and handed him some cash. "Get something for yourself, too. I think I need some time to talk to Lindsey—alone."

Greg grabbed the cash, told Lindsey he'd be right back and quickly left.

Sara walked over and sat on the edge of the couch. "Linds, we need to talk."

Lindsey crossed her arms over her chest and said, "About what?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one

"I saw your mom's lawyer today," Sara said to Lindsey. "We went over your mom's will."

Lindsey just sat there and stared at her. The kid still had a lot of issues with anger. They'd have to work on that. She had never talked down to Lindsey. She had always assumed that she'd understand the things that she talked to her about. This was going to be no different. She'd trust Lindsey to stop her and ask questions if she didn't understand what she was talking about.

"I was pretty shocked by what your mom wanted. Did she ever tell you who she wanted you to live with or anything?"

Once again, Sara was met only with silence. "Okay. So, we'll start with the big stuff first. Your mom asked me to take care of you. She wants me to raise you. I know I could never take your mom's place, but I hope you know how much I loved your mom and how much I love you. And how hard I'm going to try my best to …"

"If you really did love her, why did you ever leave?" Lindsey's silence was finally broken.

"What?"

"I said, if you really did love her, why did you ever leave? Mom was never the same after you walked out on her. She started to die the day you left."

Lindsey had definitely learned how to orally dissect someone from her mother. The only other person Sara had ever met in her life that could cut her heart to pieces with mere words had been Catherine.

"Lindsey, I don't really think…"

"Maybe that's your problem, Sara. You don't think. Did you ever think about how you leaving would hurt my mom? I know you only left because of me."

She had to put the brakes on this train wreck. "Lindsey, do you remember the day I left?"

"Uh-huh. I walked in on you and mom having sex."

Sara flushed at the memory. "Yeah, you did. Is that why you think I left?"

"Well, I might just be a kid, but even I can make connections. Mom was happy and you two were dating. I see you two having sex. Mom is sad and you two aren't together. I know it was because of me. Mom kept saying it wasn't. But it had to be."

"No, Linds. It wasn't you. After you walked in on us and then ran out, your mom thought you were upset. We both did. Some things were said and feelings were hurt. I thought it would be in your best interest and your mom's that I left when I did. I loved your mom. I still love your mom. But …"

Lindsey was standing over Sara and shouting now. "There are no buts, Sara. If you had loved her, you would have stayed. You would have worked things out. Mom always told me that you weren't a quitter. I never understood how you could quit on her. And you had so many chances to make up. Especially after you were shot. She took care of you. You could have fixed things. You didn't want to." She sprinted up the stairs and slammed her room door.

_You have no idea how badly I wanted to fix things. But I always thought it was too late, Lindsey. I always thought it was too late. Now, it is._


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own 'em…**

_A/N: I know…it's been a while. I've had no motivation to write on this story, but I had an idea and a certain someone (Maggsie) thought it would work here. Thanks to Frosty for helping me through some of the conversations…._

After hearing the door slam so loud that she was sure the hinges would need to be tightened, Sara grabbed her phone and called Greg.

"Thanks, but don't worry about bringing any food back over here, Greg." She looked shamefully up the stairs to where the teen had disappeared. "I don't think extra cheese or Moo Goo Gai Pan will help tonight….yeah…alright…thanks."

With that, she hung up and threw herself down on the couch. How many afternoons had she spent on this couch with Catherine in the waning months of her life? How often had she tenderly stroked through her thinning hair and promised that things would get better?

Those thoughts and many others drifted through her mind as sleep overtook her. In the fitful confines of her dreams, Sara replayed scene after scene of her time with Catherine—every fight—every kiss—every harsh work spoken—every tender promise made.

The bell ringing relentlessly followed by pounding on the door broke through her meandering trek of the past. She looked around the dark house, sleep still clouding the edges of her mind and tried to decipher whether the noises had been a part of her dreams. Then it started again. Groggily she pulled herself to her feet, running her hands over her face and through her hair. She wondered just how long she had managed to sleep as she stared through the peep hole in the door. She blinked rapidly to be sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

She jerked the door open, smiling before suddenly frowning.

Sofia threw her hands up and said, "Before you even start…"

"Sofia, what are you doing here?" Sara's tone was colder and more menacing than was necessary.

Sofia shifted awkwardly under the woman's gaze. "There was a single car accident on Freemont a few hours ago."

"And this involves me how?"

Sofia took a deep breath and hung her head while keeping one eye on Sara, "The patrolman called Brass and he called me. They ran the plates. It's registered to Catherine. "

Suddenly panic filled the abruptly aware brown eyes of Sara. She looked away before composing herself and simply half-whispering one name, "Lindsey?"

"She's okay," the blonde detective assured her. Sara's body relaxed and Sophia continued. "So are the other three that were with her," she said as she took a step toward Sara.

Sara squared her shoulders and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Where is she?"

Sofia, always trying to read the emotions in the older woman, stood quietly for a moment knowing that Sara was beginning to seethe and that the last bit of information would probably put her over the top. "There's something else, Sar." She paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "They were all drunk. Everyone at the PD knows about Catherine and no one wants to see her kid go to jail. That's why…"

"…I asked once and I will not ask again," Sara's voice was dark and angry. "Where. Is. She?"

Sofia didn't answer, but instead turned her head in the direction of her car and then back to Sara.

Sara was chewing on her bottom lip, deep in thought. When it became obvious that Sara wasn't going to move, Sofia turned and walked toward her car.

"Take her to jail. That's where she belongs. At least for the night."

Not believing what she was hearing, Sofia turned so quickly on her heel she almost stumbled into the flower beds that lined the walkway. "Are you serious?"

Sara bobbed her head and she wrapped her arms around herself, "Yeah. Catherine wouldn't have tolerated this and I'm not either. If she was anyone else, she'd be at the station right now. It's not fair that she doesn't have to suffer the consequences for her actions."

Sofia stood there, her mouth hanging open, unable to speak.

"Her mother is barely in the ground and she's started up with these antics. It starts with this and before you know it, she's stealing or doing drugs. No. Take her to jail," Sara turned to walk back in the house.

As she was pulling the door shut, Sofia took a few quick steps and stuck her foot in the door and grabbed Sara by the arm, jerking her around to face her.

"That girl out there just lost her mother. The only parent she's had for a while. She's trying to get attention. She was little when she lost her father. A teen deals with losing a parent differently than a little kid. And trust me, if I thought jail would help I'd have left her ass there."

Anger was rolling off of Sara and her eyes had darkened as she pulled herself free of Sofia. "Who are you to tell me how to take care of her? If I remember correctly, you were more interested in how this was going to affect the two of us than how it was going to affect her," she shouted as she pointed to the girl in the back seat of the car.

Sofia hung her head in guilt, remembering very well what she had said to Sara on the phone. "Look, Sara," her tone softened. "I fucked up. I know that. And if you can't forgive me, well, then I'll learn to deal with that. But I'm trying to do the right thing here—not for your sake or my sake, but for Lindsey. She's hurting. And she doesn't have a clue about how to deal with how she feels. She needs you to help her deal with it. She doesn't need to sober up at the station. She needs to be here—with you."

Without verbally admitting that the blonde was right, Sara brushed past her and started toward Sofia's car. Sofia smiled inwardly at having won that battle.

As soon as Sara opened the door, she jerked and choked back a gag. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before turning to Sofia, "She threw up all over your back seat."

Noticing the change in Sara's color, Sofia stepped into the open door and helped the teen out of the backseat. She had her arm around Lindsey's waist and draped Lindsey's arm over her own shoulders as the two were almost the same height.

"Sara, get the door and go turn the shower on," Sofia ordered. She was well-aware of Sara's inability to stomach vomit. "I'll get her upstairs and you can deal with her."

XXXXXXXXX

Defeated, Sara came down the stairs and sat heavily on the last one, covering her face with her hands.

"I guess it could have been worse," said the disembodied voice of Sofia. "Is she sleeping now?"

Sara lifted her head long enough to make eye contact with Sofia, "I…I thought you'd be gone. Your shift isn't over yet."

"I made some coffee," Sofia ignored her previous statements. "I thought you'd need some." She poured a cup of coffee and made her way to Sara from across the room, noticing the faint and weak smile that crossed the brunette's face as the mention of her favorite drink.

"How ya holding up there, Sar?"

Sara chuckled weakly before the tears began to fall.

Unable to help herself, Sofia sat down beside Sara and pulled her against her. The comfort of her friend and lover caused the floodgates to open as Sara sobbed shakily against the younger woman.

"I've got you, Sar. It's okay, babe," Sofia soothed as she kissed the crown of the older woman's head and ran her hand up and down her arm.

They sat in silence, one holding and the other being held, until the sobs subsided.

"I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you right now, but…I'm here…okay? Anything you need….anything at all….let me know," Sofia offered softly.

Sara clung even tighter to the detective, pulling back only when Sofia's phone signaled a message. She sprang to her feet and swiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"You need to go…"

"…I can stay if you want me to," Sofia countered.

Hesitantly, Sara moved closer to Sofia and kissed her on the cheek. "I don't want you to, I need you to. But you have to go to work."

Sofia took Sara's hand and rubbed the back of it with her thumb. She leaned in, as if to kiss Sara and then regrettably, pulled back, and dropped her hand.

As she slid her hands into her pockets and dropped her gaze to her feet, Sofia said, "You can call me…for anything…anything at all…at any hour and I'll be there."

Sofia turned toward the door and had only taken a few steps when Sara's doubtful tone reached her ears.

"Sof, was she right?"

Sofia turned around and cocked her head to the side, "Right about what?"

New tears threatened to spill as Sara explained, "She said I ran away. Lindsey said I ran away. Did I? Will I run away again? What if I can't do this?"

A faint smile played at Sofia's lips as she shifted her stance, "You won't run again."

She knew as soon as she said it, that it was the wrong thing to say.

Sara threw her hands up in exasperation, "But you think I ran away the first time."

"Sar," she was cut off by her phone ringing.

Sara wrapped her arms protectively around herself, "Just…go. They need you at work. And thanks. Thanks for dealing with her for me…for bringing her home."

She realized that she was basically being dismissed and nodded in agreement, "It was no problem. I'll call tomorrow—uh, I mean later today—to see how she is—if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine," the weary brunette said before adding, "and I'm sorry about her puking in your car."

"Don't worry about that—the backseat has seen much worse before," Sofia said as she pulled the door shut behind her leaving Sara alone in the house with Lindsey.


End file.
